Saturday, May 1st, 2004
5:08 pm
we haven’t talked forever
perhaps we never will
it might be for the best
and time will do the rest

I want you to remember
If this is how it is
That I am here for you
And what I say is true

And though it may bring heart ache
To think back on those times
Some, they were the best
The rest were like a test

and if we never talk again
remember I love you
Mood: accomplished
Thursday, February 12th, 2004
9:19 am
I have a secret that I can't share.
The secret goes real quiet but comes with a flair.

This secret has no application to any of you
There really isn't anything that anyone can do

Only four people alive know about it
One is my mother and she's in a fit

One person dead long ago
was another who once did know

I'm worried about someone close to me and very dear
Yet today I learned more about my great fear

Now I know why I act about something a certain way
It's to prevent something from happening to me, to keep it at bay

This will be my first lifelong secret that I wont disclose
It affects me internally down to my toes

I feel that by writing this, the secret is revealed
Just enough so that now, forever it will be concealed
Sunday, February 1st, 2004
4:51 pm
unrequited
Before I could open my mouth, she screamed. I wanted to crawl over to her, but she was too far away from me. I watch, anger boiling deep beneath my skin, as he puts his arm around her shoulder. She falls into his open arms, burying her face into his broad shoulder. Caressing her hair as he whispers soothingly into her ear, her shaking stops.
I fight the tears that threaten to escape my eyes, but the urge is too strong. I flee to the bathroom, lock the door, and turn to face my reflection. The visage that stares back at me is barely recognizable. The bright yellow hair and the dark green eyes belong to a stranger. My eyes redden as the tears streak down my cheeks. It isn’t fair to love someone who will never love you back.
I slam my fist down. The anger never simmers and my desire is never sated. The thought of her hair slipping through my fingers, and her lips brushing against mine, leaves me awake for hours. And those huge blue eyes, eyes that could melt the ice off my frozen heart, haunt my waking hours. I can hear her laugh, like music to the ears of a blind man, finally able to truly feel.
But alas I do not have her love.
Mood: apathetic
Saturday, January 31st, 2004
6:14 pm
Present~
I must love you because I feel guilty when I hate you
You must intimidate me because the adrenaline starts when I stand up to you

Past~
I loved you completely because you were my favorite person
My love was golden and unscathed because I was too naive to know what type of person you were

Between Past and Present~
You create hurt and anger towards you, instead of respect
My opinions are cut off, only yours are permitted
Wednesday, January 21st, 2004
8:08 pm
Desperation deluded the inner workings of her soul. Unforgiving, the temptress plots her revenge on the unsuspecting villain. Never before has she felt such agony. Gripping her insides like a drowning man clinging to a life raft, nausea wrecked havoc on her body. Needing to hear only a soft whisper from her lover, the silence drives her to insanity. Desire for destruction overpowers the love she had for him. Memories of their time together grew dim, while her appetite for death remained insatiable.

have no idea where this came from but when i am bored i write wierd things
Mood: bored